I work with two women who are friendly, intelligent and have the best social skills. The boss is a hardworker, kind and very personable. The work itself is a shadow of stuff I have done before - I've picked it up really quickly and I'm not afraid of learning more. In fact, I've been seeking it all week. I can hardly believe myself. And I work helping people - that makes me feel very proud.
Work sent me on a trip down to London and for the very first time I navigated train and tube on my own. When down there I swanned about like it was no big deal. I didn't suffer any nerves all day; just enjoyed myself.
I am managing my health. I understand what makes me hurt and what makes me ill and I have done, and will continue to do, everything to minimise both. It's not easy, but I can do it if I put the effort in, and the rewards for doing it are worth it.
I have noticed before that life can turn on a penny, and my life seems to have done exactly that. I can't bear to think much now of the pain I have gone through these last few years. But I feel a sense of pride that I never stopped trying to figure things out. Even when it felt like life was one big fist pummelling me down and down and down, I got back up again and carried on as best I could. I didn't see that at the time, I always felt such a failure, but I see it now looking back.
And so, I'm feeling I should move on from this blog. In this blog I have tried to track my attempts to get my life back together after my developing endometriosis so spectacularly blew it apart. It feels now like much of the major repair work has been completed. Although there are projects remaining that will need some work, the worst part is over.
Things are different. I have regrets and I carry much grief. I can however at least move my life forward now. That might be worth the starting of another blog. We'll see.
